Dances With Horses

Leading by Example

     You may think that having horses is a luxury. Maybe you think spending hard earned money on a child's riding lessons is an excessive expenditure. Money perhaps better donated to your church or given to a worthy cause. As God called me into this adventure, I never once pondered the religious legalities of indulging such a passion that would drain purses, pay checks, and bank accounts at such an alarming rate. Never thought about it. God gave me a vision of a heart, my sister showed me the heart on the right side of a horse, and I confirmed that was the heart God showed me and bought that horse.
    The first thing I learned about that horse was that God put me on the other end of her lead rope for a reason.
I was a little nervous when they took her off the trailer and handed the rope to me. "What do I do with her?" I asked.
      "Whatever you want, she's your horse now."
       I learned real quickly that horses are totally in tune with the emotions of those around them especially the one leading them. I was nervous. She was nervous. "What do we do?" she asked.
      "I haven't a clue!" I replied with my weak and jittery clasp on the lead rope.
      "Ok then, how about we freak out? I'll pull the rope out of your hand and I will run away and hide over here in the hay bales." My horse mirrored my nervous behaviors. Somehow she knew I wanted to run away and hide.
    My horse was now hiding in the hay bales and I was in charge. I had to muster up a courageous attitude to lead her out of there and take her to the comfort of her new stall in the barn. Luxury? I think not. God was teaching me how to have the courage to stand on my own now that He was asking me to raise three teenagers and a preschooler by myself after my husband died. I wasn't afraid to be alone. However, I was terrified to parent alone. My mare, Jazz, taught me so much about being a fearless leader and became God's right hand in helping me learn to parent my kids without their dad.
   After my husband died, one of my sons became very angry. He struggled to show his grief and I, struggling with my own grief, had a hard time dealing with the anger he directed at me that he couldn't explain. He was just angry and apparently it was with me. There was one thing he enjoyed though. He loved going to the ranch and hanging out with the horses. One day, he was leading Jazz and I thought I would show him something I had learned about leading. He got really upset that I was telling him how to do something. He felt I was being critical, not helpful. Jazz responded to his anger by freaking out and pulling the lead rope out of his hands and running to hide in the hay bales.
   "Horses respond to your emotions," I said gently, "she can tell when you're upset."
   "Now what?" he asked.
   "You have to be calm if you are going to calm her down and be her leader." I was able to redirect his anger without accusing him of anything and he was able to see the direct affect of his anger on another being. Jazz showed him a very visual lesson on how someone might respond to his anger as well as practice calming down and taking control of his emotions.
   He calmed down and was able to catch Jazz and calmly lead her to the barn. On the way back he was calm and able to articulate what was bothering him. Then I told him when he gets angry I feel like hiding in the hay bales. We both laughed at the thought of it.
   Jazz opened up a channel of communication that my son and I desperately needed. She also gave us plenty of time to just be together where we didn't have to talk. Some days we just hung out with Jazz brushing her and taking turns lunging and riding her. We are not the only story about God's amazing work through our relationship with horses. Whether I am at a show barn or a rescue ranch, I see God using horses to touch the hearts and minds of people in difficult situations. I always think of Susan, a visitor to R4C Ranch who was going through chemotherapy. She always came out to the ranch on her breaks between chemo to work with one of our geriatric horses, Punkin, who no one else chose to work with.
 "This is the only place I can come and not be reminded of cancer. I just focus on what I am doing with my horse and that is all I have to think about it." Shortly after Susan died, Punkin's health deteriorated and we had to let her go. I can only imagine Susan and Punkin dancing together in heaven now.
   Luxury? I guess like anything else it's all in how you use the gifts you are given. Some people in the world think running water is a luxury but you wouldn't hear anyone in this country tell you not to spend your money on a water bill because that is just a luxury. After all, you could take a few buckets in your gasoline powered vehicle down to the lake, fill them up, and carry a lot more water back to your 5 bedroom hut than they can. Luxury is only a matter of perspective.
   Maybe the person who told me my horses were "only a luxury" would rethink that if they ever danced with a horse when God was leading.