There are so many things on my list to do that I don't know where to start. Let me just say, Facebook is not the best place to start. If you ever felt overwhelmed by your to-do list, then checking the news reel on facebook and seeing what all your facebook friends are doing is not the best place to get motivation to get down your list. This is especially true if your list includes chores and your friends are out having fun without you.
In a given week I actually talk to a lot of people face to face. I have recently been having some candid conversations about the affect of facebook on people. On one hand, facebook
brings joy to people because they get a chance to meet up with people they have lost track of over the years and get a chance to catch up in ways Christmas cards never even dreamed of. Recently a facebook group was instrumental in creating a neighborhood reunion of friends and family that hadn't lived on the same street in over thirty years. And birthdays on facebook can make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside when you get more greetings for a birthday you would have normally just let slide by as just another day. For an unpopular kid in High School, being this popular even one day a year is quite exciting.
My candid conversations have lead me to validate the term Facebook Depression. It can be overwhelming to see what everyone else is doing because most people don't post the real life stuff like "Just had a major arguement with my husband and he said the d-word again" or "I am exhausted from asking my son to get up out of bed again today. It's after noon, his room is mess, and I just cleaned up after him in the bathroom and kitchen for the sixth day in a row."
Instead, people living a real life world described above get constant updates on their phone from their facebook friends, "So proud of my son who just graduated with a Master's degree in Engineering," "Play date with my grandbabies and little Joey said, 'I wuv you grammy,'" or "Who just built me a new kitchen- that's right the greatest husband in the world and he's all mine." You get the idea.
At least with Christmas cards you only had to endure the assault of your friends and family's perfect life highlights once a year and then move on. Now it is a daily deluge of facebook status updates highlighting the things that your friends, family, and once-forgotten acquaintances want to showcase to the world. It can soon feel like everyone is living a perfect Christmas card life while your life is still having the same real world highs and lows. Soon you are skipping that to-do list and being sucked into facebook to try to see if anyone liked your last post or acknowledged your existence by responding to the last comment you made on a friend's wall. All the status updates, check-ins, and photo albums begin to run together and it seems like you are the only one in the world that is actually having periods of life with nothing happening worth a status update.
Here is how to know if you are slipping into Facebook Depression:
1. Do you spend more time checking facebook than interacting face to face with friends or family?
2. Does checking status's of facebook friends make you feel isolated and alone?
3. Do you feel stuck emotionally and find yourself spending extreme amounts of time online searching for something to fill you up on the inside?
4. Do you feel stuck physically where you just can't get up from the computer and get moving?
5. Do you turn down invitations out to stay home on your computer? Have you quit inviting others out?
Facebook may not be the cause of your depression- depression can be due to hormonal imbalances, drugs or medications, illness, or lack of nutrition and exercise. However, facebook can make you feel more isolated and alone or envious of the lives you perceive your friends are living. Remember, just like that Christmas card, status updates are only the highlights of peoples lives they choose to share. You only get to know whole people by spending time with them face to face regularly sharing the ups and downs in their lives. Getting to know people and letting them get to know the real you is best way to conquer Facebook depression.
Take a facebook challenge and invite a facebook friend to meet you in person and start sharing "real" life together. Don't be afraid to let them know your life isn't facebook perfect. Real friendships begin when you start sharing the imperfect highlights of your life with each other and make face to face time for each other.
---If you are struggling with depression- reach out to a friend or counselor-- not all friends or counselors help in the same way... keep reaching out until you find someone that can be your accountability partner, can sit with you and listen, or just walk beside you in the silence. If you're still searching for something online go to Hope for the Heart. Click on this link and begin the process of walking out of the darkness.
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